I read these stories FROM THE SAME DAY in the Daily News and shuddered...
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284403p-243554c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284410p-243472c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284411p-243569c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284414p-243541c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284415p-243483c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284416p-243469c.html
It made me wonder: Were people always this evil, or are borderline people snapping? It seems so brutal. At least in the Dark Ages when they tortured you, they had a whole system of belief that supported it somehow. But these people are ...well, for lack of a better word, evil. But just what IS evil?
Is it some red guy in a fiery place that whispers in your ear and makes you do bad things? Or is it the simple brutal truth..some people, some seemingly normal, nice, funny charismatic people could just as easily turn on you in a brutal vicious spiteful way. Or look the other way when some more evil fuck is torturing someone. One can only imagine finding another evil one to do shit like tie up a kid, beat the shit out of him, cut him, burn him and letting him die OVER A SINGLE DOLLAR. That these people could engage in a simple affair or relationship and rather than leave indignantly when it goes sour, they kill them. That was the only option for them...you have to die. You can't be with anyone else, so you must die violently. To be so evil that you get sentenced to jail and giggle. Are you crazy? Insane? Retarded? or did you just snap and decide "Ok..I know I'm going to get caught, I know I'll go to jail and maybe even get put to death, but you cannot be allowed to live. To kill another is about the worst karmic thing you can do. If you killed someone indirectly or without specific malice, or even by accident, you have guilt over it because you meant no harm. But some DO mean harm. Some LOVE harm. Some need harm. These are not raving lunatics who talk to themselves. These are people you think you knew. When they hear that they've done something that extreme, they can't understand it. It's such a shock that they would kill in such a cruel way.
What came over them? Remember my ex-friend with the drugged-out boyfriend I lived with (see "Chicks are losing their shit"? Satanism, and drugs and boredom. Her father was getting sicker and she insisted on bringing this kid to the hospital. She even got mad and decided that she was "stepping off on the family" cause they wouldn't accept this person who was so selfish and fucked up that his being fawned over was more important than a very sick father who wanted to see his daughter. So she stepped off. And two weeks later he was dead. Those precious moments of closure that she could have had if she left this jerk behind to deal with, instead was spent losing a lot of weight, her job, her family, her sanity, and her independence. And she doesn't care. She obviously doesn't care. If she did, and had the strength to see through this illusion, she would have ran far away. But instead, if he goes down, so does she. On the Satan tip, remember the charm she made for him?. It was a lock of her hair woven into wire with tiny handcuff clasps. Black candles with $100 bills under them. She put that energy out there and now she's paying for it. People who knew her well are in agreement: She's not the same person. She's the shell of that person. She was always thin, but now she's gaunt. Bones. Her phone, in the 8 years I've know her, rarely got cut off. Was when someone tried to get a hold of her recently, tho. They tried to go to her job to get in touch and they were like "We love her, but she might have to get fired cause she hasn't been showing up." A complete 180 degree flip.
I'd like to think I was spiritually evolved enough to not reduce things to good and evil. There are blurred areas, especially in the realm of politics and religion. But there is something happening to people that is making them do horrific things. We have war overseas, and people here killing in heinous ways. That can't be good, can it?
Some of my photos and artwork
Click on the header above to see some stuff I've done. I am going back and finding old work so this will be growing. I'm also getting back into doing new stuff like t-shirts and flyers. Enjoy.
Music as therapy..
Since I've been away, I've been having my ususal ups and downs. I could go into gory detail, and at some point I will, but in the midst of all this conflict and having to adapt to situations I wasn't terribly happy with, I managed to find pleasant distractions. One of them being music. I would find a quiet time, usually late at night into the morning hours, much like now. I seem to be more creative at night. My promotions work is done under Nephthys One Media Managment, Nephthys being one of the Goddesses of Night.
So in these late, quiet times, I'd get on my laptop and play with Reason. I can't say more about these programs. If you can get your hands on one of them, give yourself the patience to learn it. Think of it as a music toy and you can play things however you like. The trick is to actually have a good ear for melody and rhythm and harmony and such. I have to give credit to people I remember stimulating me with music.
The first are my uncles. They were teenagers when I was born, and they had very eclectic tastes for black men in the early 70's. They, and my parents, listened to the Beatles and Zepplin and the Doors and The Faces and all these tripped out UK bands. My first official favorite band was The Police. I was 9. My uncle brought Outlandos D'Amour and Zenyatta Mondatta and I literally fell in love with it. It was the first music where I really understood the lyrics and the music mezmerized me. Then I fell in love with Jimi Hendrix after a friend taped every song he ever made and gave it to me for my birthday. I was convinced that if only I had been alive and an adult when he was, he would still be here. What a cosmic joke that the man of my dreams died when I was 10 months old. Then I went through a MAJOR Beatles phase, just around the whole 20 anniversary of the Summer of Love stuff. I hippied out and decided that Paul is my favorite, John was a genius in his own right, and George kinda creeped me out, but I grew to dig his vibe. Ringo doesn't make any impression on me. He's like the Shemp of the Beatles.
I also had a great 5th grade teacher named Mr. Kolataze at P.S. 97 in the Bronx. I had moved there in the mid- 4th grade, so I was the New Girl. That year was tough. I had come from a school in Yonkers that was one of those progressive schools with no walls and split grade classes. I could read very well when I went to kindergarten so they had me go to 3rd grade reading classes. I was in a class where it was high functioning 4th graders and mid fuctioning 5th graders. I guess the idea was that somewhere in the middle they could close the gap. Seemed to work, from what I remember. Very different from an old 85 year old school with traditional wooden desks and the big creaky windows that you needed a long stick to open. I went from New Age to Old School, and I stuck out. But I was still bright and got along. In the 5th grade, I had Kolataze and I knew right away it was going to be a cool year. He was tall, lean, good looking and had longish hair and he was a piano player who LOVED Beethoven. Had a bust of him right on the piano in the classroom. He could play his ass off and he would take bee pollen in the middle of class and taught us to play Song of Joy on the recorder and did cool shit like play the soundtrack to The Shining beacause it was all Bela Bartok music. I was 10 and listening to Bartok and sneaking to watch the movie so I could see what I heard. AND we still managed to learn all our other subjects. He was the kind of teacher I liked..they knew when to be serious and when to be really cool and you did well in his class cause you really wanted to. You felt like the cool stuff was the bonus for doing the boring stuff. That was the year Lennon got killed and the guy was destroyed. He just sat at the piano and played slow, sad Beatles stuff and we listened to Sgt Pepper, and I really understood how deep music was. He was so cool that he even dated someone's mom at school. It was the talk of 1980. Mrs. Andrucki. Either widowed or divorced or maybe still married, who knows. One of her daughters was a year ahead of me and one a year behind. The got one look at each other and it was a wrap. The last time I ran into him in the 90's, they were still together.
So, now I sit here and experiment my own. Once I figure out which site I can load it to, you'll hear it. Soon Come..
So in these late, quiet times, I'd get on my laptop and play with Reason. I can't say more about these programs. If you can get your hands on one of them, give yourself the patience to learn it. Think of it as a music toy and you can play things however you like. The trick is to actually have a good ear for melody and rhythm and harmony and such. I have to give credit to people I remember stimulating me with music.
The first are my uncles. They were teenagers when I was born, and they had very eclectic tastes for black men in the early 70's. They, and my parents, listened to the Beatles and Zepplin and the Doors and The Faces and all these tripped out UK bands. My first official favorite band was The Police. I was 9. My uncle brought Outlandos D'Amour and Zenyatta Mondatta and I literally fell in love with it. It was the first music where I really understood the lyrics and the music mezmerized me. Then I fell in love with Jimi Hendrix after a friend taped every song he ever made and gave it to me for my birthday. I was convinced that if only I had been alive and an adult when he was, he would still be here. What a cosmic joke that the man of my dreams died when I was 10 months old. Then I went through a MAJOR Beatles phase, just around the whole 20 anniversary of the Summer of Love stuff. I hippied out and decided that Paul is my favorite, John was a genius in his own right, and George kinda creeped me out, but I grew to dig his vibe. Ringo doesn't make any impression on me. He's like the Shemp of the Beatles.
I also had a great 5th grade teacher named Mr. Kolataze at P.S. 97 in the Bronx. I had moved there in the mid- 4th grade, so I was the New Girl. That year was tough. I had come from a school in Yonkers that was one of those progressive schools with no walls and split grade classes. I could read very well when I went to kindergarten so they had me go to 3rd grade reading classes. I was in a class where it was high functioning 4th graders and mid fuctioning 5th graders. I guess the idea was that somewhere in the middle they could close the gap. Seemed to work, from what I remember. Very different from an old 85 year old school with traditional wooden desks and the big creaky windows that you needed a long stick to open. I went from New Age to Old School, and I stuck out. But I was still bright and got along. In the 5th grade, I had Kolataze and I knew right away it was going to be a cool year. He was tall, lean, good looking and had longish hair and he was a piano player who LOVED Beethoven. Had a bust of him right on the piano in the classroom. He could play his ass off and he would take bee pollen in the middle of class and taught us to play Song of Joy on the recorder and did cool shit like play the soundtrack to The Shining beacause it was all Bela Bartok music. I was 10 and listening to Bartok and sneaking to watch the movie so I could see what I heard. AND we still managed to learn all our other subjects. He was the kind of teacher I liked..they knew when to be serious and when to be really cool and you did well in his class cause you really wanted to. You felt like the cool stuff was the bonus for doing the boring stuff. That was the year Lennon got killed and the guy was destroyed. He just sat at the piano and played slow, sad Beatles stuff and we listened to Sgt Pepper, and I really understood how deep music was. He was so cool that he even dated someone's mom at school. It was the talk of 1980. Mrs. Andrucki. Either widowed or divorced or maybe still married, who knows. One of her daughters was a year ahead of me and one a year behind. The got one look at each other and it was a wrap. The last time I ran into him in the 90's, they were still together.
So, now I sit here and experiment my own. Once I figure out which site I can load it to, you'll hear it. Soon Come..
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