Actions speak louder than words...
Main reason for resisting marriage
Some guy named Travis Frey, "a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap) actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. In return for fulfilling certain requirements, Frey offered "Good Behavior Days," or GBDs. Each GBD, Frey wrote, could be redeemed by his wife to "get out of doing the things" he requested daily." To see this amazing piece of shit, click here
So here's my Asshole Husband Contract:
Hygiene and Self Care: You will make sure the size of your beer gut does not exceed the size of your cock. I must be able to look over your shoulder and see your dick. You may not have hair of any kind on your back, or coming out of your ears or nose. You feet and balls may not smell like rotting cheese.
Clothes and other apparel: You may not wear something for 3 days, hang it out the window and think it don't smell anymore. You may not wear jeans with a suit jacket. If I ever see you in a pair of Speedos, it means almost certain death.
Sleepwear and Sleeping: You are not allowed to sleep without drawers on and farting under the covers is strictly prohibited. And under no circumstances can you try to fuck me while I'm asleep.
MY Time: during my time, especially if that time coincides with my menstrual cycle, you will not look at me, breathe near me, or ask me to do shit for you. For all requests of that nature, please see the section entitled MOTHER.
Sexual Matters: Cunnilingus must be performed TO COMPLETION prior to the beginning of any sexual act. Removal of the stabilizing head gear needed to insure completion will not be removed until afterglow is evident. Anal sex will only be allowed if I am properly inerbriated first..
If any of the terms of this contract are violated or ignored in any way, you will promptly be asked to go fuck yourself..
For all the Monty Python Heads
To all those that love them some Monty Python, make sure you check PBS in the next few weeks. They are doing an awesome 6 part series highlighting the best of MP by each performer. Last night was the Eric Idle portion and they really went back in the vaults and found the rarely seen stuff plus lots of footage of the live college arena shows they used to do that were HYSTERICAL! I can't believe that I used to watch this as a little kid in the 70's and got the jokes. Not all of them, of course, but the beauty of this kind of series is that you get to see all the stuff you don't know (all the fans know the Dead Parrot Sketch, etc), and catch all the jokes you were just too young to understand. and this is stuff that mostly aired in England that we never got to see.
P.S. As much as I love stand up comedy and comedians, in my mind, NOTHING beats a group of people who are equally funny, talented and crazy who work together to break new ground. I would LOVE to be part of something like that...(hint, hint)
Myspace Music Page
I'm going to be uploading some original beats that I'm learning to make in Reason (any tutorials are most welcome).
In the meantime, go to my page and add 1 of these songs to your page. I'll post a bulletin when MY SHIT is ready....
Peace Love and BEATZ!
What's the deal with me?
I Work: much more efficiently than I once did.
I Talk: more than I should.
I Wish: for the one I love
I Look: in my heart for the answer.
I Smell: like Egyptian Musk.
I Listen: to music like it was a drug.
I Hide: nothing anymore.
I Walk: with the Goddess Mothers.
I Write: all the fucking time.
I See: myself growing old gracefully.
I Sing: much more now than I ever did.
I Laugh: 90f the time.
I Can: love with a open heart
I Watch: what I say around certain people
I Yearn: for the one who sees thru me.
I Daydream: to save my life.
I Fall: 7 times, but stand up 8.
I Want: a long and productive life.
I Cry: very easily once I got these new found emotions
I Burn: every night after work and its great!.
I Read: bitches who think they are gonna get over..
I Love: Seeing the moon break through clouds
I Rode: quite a few stallions in my day..
I Sometimes: dream things and they come true
I Touch: but love to be touched
I Hurt: for children who parents abuse them
I Fear: nothing. Fear is the Mind Killer
I Hope: for the best
I Break: my own heart sometimes..
I Eat: my own cooking
I Bathe: in the cool waters of Peace
I Drink: wine when I wanna get toasty
I Stop: but I just keep going
I Save: books
I Hug: my adopted cats
I Meditate: and its the blessing of my life
I Miss: My uncle, and this girl named Saby Cabanilla I went to school with who is gone from us too soon..
I Forgive: my mother for not being taught unconditional love
I Learn: very quickly
I Dream: things that come to pass, sometimes years later
I Have: a peaceful existence now..
I Don't: think about the past anymore
I Made: some suprising cool songs on my own
I Believe: The state of your mind is the state of your life
I Need: not to need anything anymore
I Owe: a great debt to the universe
I Hate: the fact that my own self hatred was eagerly used by my family for their own bad bidness...
I Feel: too much
I Know: too much
I Wonder: if I was ever here before..
I took: a chance by answering this
Chicago Afrobeat Project
Featured songs are "Tibet On It", "Jekajo" and "Talking Bush".
small WORLD Podcast web site
small WORLD Podcast subscription
Beware the Bling
1. You've Been Psychologically Conditioned To Want a DiamondThe diamond engagement ring is a 63-year-old invention of N.W.Ayer advertising agency. The De Beers diamond cartel contracted N.W.Ayer to create a demand for what are, essentially, useless hunks of rock.
2. Diamonds are Priced Well Above Their ValueThe De Beers cartel has systematically held diamond prices at levels far greater than their abundance would generate under anything even remotely resembling perfect competition. All diamonds not already under its control are bought by the cartel, and then the De Beers cartel carefully managed world diamond supply in order to keep prices steadily high.
3. Diamonds Have No Resale or Investment ValueAny diamond that you buy or receive will indeed be yours forever: De Beers' advertising deliberately brain-washed women not to sell; the steady price is a tool to prevent speculation in diamonds; and no dealer will buy a diamond from you. You can only sell it at a diamond purchasing center or a pawn shop where you will receive a tiny fraction of its original "value."
4. Diamond Miners are Disproportionately Exposed to HIV/AIDSMany diamond mining camps enforce all-male, no-family rules. Men contract HIV/AIDS from camp sex-workers, while women married to miners have no access to employment, no income outside of their husbands and no bargaining power for negotiating safe sex, and thus are at extremely high risk of contracting HIV.
5. Open-Pit Diamond Mines Pose Environmental ThreatsDiamond mines are open pits where salts, heavy minerals, organisms, oil, and chemicals from mining equipment freely leach into ground-water, endangering people in nearby mining camps and villages, as well as downstream plants and animals.
6. Diamond Mine-Owners Violate Indigenous People's RightsDiamond mines in Australia, Canada, India and many countries in Africa are situated on lands traditionally associated with indigenous peoples. Many of these communities have been displaced, while others remain, often at great cost to their health, livelihoods and traditional cultures.
7. Slave Laborers Cut and Polish DiamondsMore than one-half of the world's diamonds are processed in India where many of the cutters and polishers are bonded child laborers. Bonded children work to pay off the debts of their relatives, often unsuccessfully. When they reach adulthood their debt is passed on to their younger siblings or to their own children.
8. Conflict Diamonds Fund Civil Wars in AfricaThere is no reliable way to insure that your diamond was not mined or stolen by government or rebel military forces in order to finance civil conflict. Conflict diamonds are traded either for guns or for cash to pay and feed soldiers.
9. Diamond Wars are Fought Using Child WarriorsMany diamond producing governments and rebel forces use children as soldiers, laborers in military camps, and sex slaves. Child soldiers are given drugs to overcome their fear and reluctance to participate in atrocities.
10. Small Arms Trade is Intimately Related to Diamond SmugglingIllicit diamonds inflame the clandestine trade of small arms. There are 500 million small arms in the world today which are used to kill 500,000 people annually, the vast majority of whom are non-combatants.
From CC: Tell anyone you know on that bling shit to read this..If they still don't care, fuck em..
Just get a friggin dildo, sheesh
Rare syndrome causes female sexual overdrive
Constant, unprovoked excitement actually a distressing disorder
LONDON - Doctors called on Friday for more research into a very rare, poorly understood syndrome that is the opposite of the most common sexual complaint in women.
Instead of failing to get aroused, women suffering from persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) experience constant, unprovoked feelings of excitement.
"Persistent sexual arousal syndrome occurs when a woman becomes involuntarily aroused for extended periods of time in the absence of sexual desire," said Dr. David Goldmeier, of St Mary's Hospital in London.
But rather than being a pleasant sensation, Goldmeier, who described PSAS in a report in the International Journal of STD & AIDS, said it is embarrassing and very distressing for women.
Some sufferers have reported being suicidal, he added.
In the majority of cases the cause is unknown but a number of women report symptoms after they stop taking antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
So they're depressed…and they don't see that sex can help quell this "disorder"?
Because so few cases have been studied, little is known about the prevalence of the problem or the best treatments for a condition that was first diagnosed in 2001.
"It deserves continued research, not only because it is a distressing and perplexing condition, but also because ... treatment may lead to greater understanding of other aspects of female sexual response," said Goldmeier and Dr. Sandra Leiblum of the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, New Jersey.
The International Journal of STD & AIDS is published by the Royal Society of Medicine in London.
From CC:
OY. I'm getting really sick of male scientists trying to make a fucking syndrome out of everything they don't understand..
WOMEN ARE AS HORNY AS MEN, IF NOT MORE SO. We have hormones, just like dudes have testosterone that makes them all horned out. That "feeling" is your body needing to release all that pent up energy, and GOD FORBID a chick goes out and actually fucks for the same reason a guy does...
As a really horny chick, once I got the idea that I don't have to get pregnant if I don't want to, and don't have to get a horrible disease if I use protection, then the next hurdle was finding a man that WOULD ACTUALLY PUT IN THE TIME TO GET YOU OFF!
Was talking to a handsome comedian friend of mine about hoping to get laid for my birthday (I did, by the way) and he said that women could just pick any guy and know they are going to have sex. To a point this is true. But what if the guy is a good looking well hung selfish prick who comes in 10 seconds...then yeah, you're going to have a pretty frustrated girl on your hands...
SOLUTION: Ladies, invest in a great set of dildos. That's why they make shit like that. Why sit there bugging the fuck out because you can't find a good man WHEN YOU CAN BUY A DIFFERENT COCK FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK IF YOU WANTED...
There's black ones and white ones and jelly ones and sparkly ones and ones that vibrate and play Greensleves, and ones that you can stick on a wall and ones that look real and ones that look like fucking rabbits.
Then, you take a hot bath and have some wine (fuck it, make a night of it), lay back and GET YOURSELF OFF! There's nothing wrong with it, and it actually is excercise for your cooch as you learn to use the dormant muscles of your G-Spot. And if you find that your dildo is becoming boring and not as big as you'd like? SIZE UP, BITCH! They make some ASTOUNDINGLY huge dildos (ask some of your gay male friends..)
Dare I say, for some of us more radical chicks, some of us PREFER the use of a toy, even after we've finished with you...Unless you really know how to make a woman come and pull it off, don't be very surprised if she decides to take a long shower alone after being with you..she's taking care of "unfinished" business.
And don't discouraged boys: there's some benefit to your girl using a dildo: like any muscle, the more you work it the stonger it becomes. You may find after a few weeks of using her toy, her ability to "tighten up" vastly increases. And lets say you want to get her used to the idea of "going in thru the out door (wink wink). Whilst you do what you do, the dildo can help her "open up" to the idea...
Lets not forget folks: scientists are geeks and therefore get no punnany. What the fuck would they know about female arousal?
