Click on the title of the post to get to the message board..
Been to a few message boards and (especially the comedy ones) are filled with angry racist trolls who have nothing to say..
NOT HERE. I made this thing up a long time ago and it just sat there, unused. It was begun for the purpose of bigging up my blog, but it can go WAY beyond that. SIGN UP. We'll get it moving..
C.
My Hornyscope
AQUARIUS
Jan 21 - Feb 19
Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns
CC: Don't I know it...
Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs.Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.
CC: How true how true. I tried my hand at being a slut and I'm afraid I don't have the energy nor the ass for it. Everybody thinks its easy being a slut, but lemme tell ya..The chafing, the pulled muscles....
FAVE POSITION
Mutual masturbation.
CC: uuummmmm..nah. Doggy style actually... Watching guys jerk off only makes me laugh. Have you seen yourselves?
BEST SEX TOY
A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.
CC: damn straight. Ladies..yer man don't last as long as you like, or just aint cuttin it in the hoo-hoo department, HOW WONDERFUL that you can go out (hell or not with the Internet) and buy you a 10 x 5 incher that not only will get you off, but comes with a handy built-in alarm clock/radio with sparkles, plays Greensleeves, and optional Epilady attachment..
No man has yet achieved the coveted G-spot orgasm with me but Old Dildy has...
AQUARIUS MALE IN BED
He has amazing staying power in the sack.
CC: Not the Aquarian dudes I know...
He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish!
CC: The HELL you say...
He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am...
CC: Who IS this guy and where do I meet him?
he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life.
CC: Agreed. Not my style. I can WATCH a bunch of people fuck and be quite throughly entertained (and I have), but jumpin in aint for me...I'm just a pervy voyeur..
AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BED
She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available.
CC: That was true back in the teenage years, but I've developed the valuable capacity to be alone for long periods so I'll just wait for my pitch..
LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.
CC: This is the truest statement. I AM freaked out by love. I love the idea of love, but the actual tests of love leave me feeling terribly vulnerable and needy and I hate that feeling. So my "protection" is to treat the world as a "buddy" with no heavy emotional scenes and learning to stay as detached as possible. True, most guys seem to looking for a smoldering, passionate sex kitten, but that shit can turn on you. While she's calling your phone every 2 seconds and showing up at your job cause she just needs you SOOOOO badly, I'm chillin, smoking a bowl and cracking out on Wave 97 on the Geonosis board of Clone Wars 4 Xbox...Admittedly not that sexy, but you'll thank me later..
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUS
Lie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for
giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above
the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not
laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!
CC: WTF?? If any dude I knew started trying to lick my ankles...PUH-LEEZE! Yeah, cause when I'm looking for some loving, the first thing I'm rubbing for satisfaction is my fucking ankles...
Really want to turn me on? Make me laugh, bring home those little Reese's peanut butter cups, tear me away from Wave 98, lick my earlobes, pay my rent for a year.
Jan 21 - Feb 19
Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns
CC: Don't I know it...
Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs.Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.
CC: How true how true. I tried my hand at being a slut and I'm afraid I don't have the energy nor the ass for it. Everybody thinks its easy being a slut, but lemme tell ya..The chafing, the pulled muscles....
FAVE POSITION
Mutual masturbation.
CC: uuummmmm..nah. Doggy style actually... Watching guys jerk off only makes me laugh. Have you seen yourselves?
BEST SEX TOY
A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.
CC: damn straight. Ladies..yer man don't last as long as you like, or just aint cuttin it in the hoo-hoo department, HOW WONDERFUL that you can go out (hell or not with the Internet) and buy you a 10 x 5 incher that not only will get you off, but comes with a handy built-in alarm clock/radio with sparkles, plays Greensleeves, and optional Epilady attachment..
No man has yet achieved the coveted G-spot orgasm with me but Old Dildy has...
AQUARIUS MALE IN BED
He has amazing staying power in the sack.
CC: Not the Aquarian dudes I know...
He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish!
CC: The HELL you say...
He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am...
CC: Who IS this guy and where do I meet him?
he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life.
CC: Agreed. Not my style. I can WATCH a bunch of people fuck and be quite throughly entertained (and I have), but jumpin in aint for me...I'm just a pervy voyeur..
AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BED
She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available.
CC: That was true back in the teenage years, but I've developed the valuable capacity to be alone for long periods so I'll just wait for my pitch..
LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.
CC: This is the truest statement. I AM freaked out by love. I love the idea of love, but the actual tests of love leave me feeling terribly vulnerable and needy and I hate that feeling. So my "protection" is to treat the world as a "buddy" with no heavy emotional scenes and learning to stay as detached as possible. True, most guys seem to looking for a smoldering, passionate sex kitten, but that shit can turn on you. While she's calling your phone every 2 seconds and showing up at your job cause she just needs you SOOOOO badly, I'm chillin, smoking a bowl and cracking out on Wave 97 on the Geonosis board of Clone Wars 4 Xbox...Admittedly not that sexy, but you'll thank me later..
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUS
Lie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for
giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above
the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not
laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!
CC: WTF?? If any dude I knew started trying to lick my ankles...PUH-LEEZE! Yeah, cause when I'm looking for some loving, the first thing I'm rubbing for satisfaction is my fucking ankles...
Really want to turn me on? Make me laugh, bring home those little Reese's peanut butter cups, tear me away from Wave 98, lick my earlobes, pay my rent for a year.
I'm turning into a POLITI-CUNT...
Were people always this stupid or is this some new shit?
I feel like starting a movement, not just cause there needs to be one, but all the other ones are crap. Everybody except war mongering Boomers (ain't that a switch..one half of your life you spend getting high on hippie drugs and trying to stop a war, the second you spend getting high on prescription drugs and trying to keep a war going--selfish twats) wants this war over, but now the dumb fucks can't figure out how to do it. It's like why, as much as rock climbing seems fun, I'll never do it: Getting up there is one thing, getting back down is another.
Now we have to stay there to make sure they can fight each other well enough on their own. We can't openly say when we are leaving cause if we do, they'll try to sucker punch us before we go. But if Condi can just show up when she wants unannouced, how come we can't just bounce in the dead of night like it was a really bad one night stand? We'll just tell Iraq we're just going out for cigarettes and we'll be right back...
But screw the political people, everyday people are buggin. Got on an AM rush our D train, packed to the gills with human wreckage. So one stank bitch decided that she really needed to read her stupid book and wrapped her entire body around the pole so one else could hold on to it. Of course, I, Divine Lady of Little Patience, set upon her way to correct homegirl. I walk up to the pole and look at her like "Do you mind?" The cuntrag actually had the nerve to get indignant and say "Don't you know how to say excuse me?!" with this snotty attitude. My response (verbatim): Hey, fuck you! It's common courtesy! Train full of people, and you have to be a bitch a wrap your whole body on the pole..blah blah.." Everyone agreed but no one said anything to her but me at she STILL stood there with people having to hold on to some one else cause they couldn't use the pole. She was shorter than I so I stood directly in front of her with my hand holding the pole right in her face and stared her down for the rest of the ride. She was on the same page for 25 minutes.
Side note about white people who move to NYC from some other okie doke place: you are the biggest punk scaredy cats ever. Let there be a insane black man on the train screaming at the top of his lungs with his ass hanging out, smelling like buttcrack and no one says anything. But let another black or latino start breakin on the guy to get the fuck off the train and all of a sudden they are chiming in with "yeahs" and "thanks, geez". Faggots.
I'm starting a movement called Enough Already. Enough Already with the politicians. Enough Already with the nutty Christians, Jews and Arabs. Enough Already with the dilly white chicks who get drunk and fuck in bathroom stalls while a 5 day line forms outside. Enough Already to Hollywood--they wouldn't be famous celebrities if they weren't being forced up everyone's ass every 5 seconds. Why would we care about Kevin Federline if we weren't made to? Enough Already with Oprah--she ran out of shit to say in 1989. Enough Already with BET and black celebrities and their various states of incarceration, litigation and hateration (thanks Mary J Blige for making up that..ummm..word(?) Enough Already with how cool it is to be gay-its not and its way more expensive than being straight. Lots of accessories with the gayness..
And Enough Already with this post...
I feel like starting a movement, not just cause there needs to be one, but all the other ones are crap. Everybody except war mongering Boomers (ain't that a switch..one half of your life you spend getting high on hippie drugs and trying to stop a war, the second you spend getting high on prescription drugs and trying to keep a war going--selfish twats) wants this war over, but now the dumb fucks can't figure out how to do it. It's like why, as much as rock climbing seems fun, I'll never do it: Getting up there is one thing, getting back down is another.
Now we have to stay there to make sure they can fight each other well enough on their own. We can't openly say when we are leaving cause if we do, they'll try to sucker punch us before we go. But if Condi can just show up when she wants unannouced, how come we can't just bounce in the dead of night like it was a really bad one night stand? We'll just tell Iraq we're just going out for cigarettes and we'll be right back...
But screw the political people, everyday people are buggin. Got on an AM rush our D train, packed to the gills with human wreckage. So one stank bitch decided that she really needed to read her stupid book and wrapped her entire body around the pole so one else could hold on to it. Of course, I, Divine Lady of Little Patience, set upon her way to correct homegirl. I walk up to the pole and look at her like "Do you mind?" The cuntrag actually had the nerve to get indignant and say "Don't you know how to say excuse me?!" with this snotty attitude. My response (verbatim): Hey, fuck you! It's common courtesy! Train full of people, and you have to be a bitch a wrap your whole body on the pole..blah blah.." Everyone agreed but no one said anything to her but me at she STILL stood there with people having to hold on to some one else cause they couldn't use the pole. She was shorter than I so I stood directly in front of her with my hand holding the pole right in her face and stared her down for the rest of the ride. She was on the same page for 25 minutes.
Side note about white people who move to NYC from some other okie doke place: you are the biggest punk scaredy cats ever. Let there be a insane black man on the train screaming at the top of his lungs with his ass hanging out, smelling like buttcrack and no one says anything. But let another black or latino start breakin on the guy to get the fuck off the train and all of a sudden they are chiming in with "yeahs" and "thanks, geez". Faggots.
I'm starting a movement called Enough Already. Enough Already with the politicians. Enough Already with the nutty Christians, Jews and Arabs. Enough Already with the dilly white chicks who get drunk and fuck in bathroom stalls while a 5 day line forms outside. Enough Already to Hollywood--they wouldn't be famous celebrities if they weren't being forced up everyone's ass every 5 seconds. Why would we care about Kevin Federline if we weren't made to? Enough Already with Oprah--she ran out of shit to say in 1989. Enough Already with BET and black celebrities and their various states of incarceration, litigation and hateration (thanks Mary J Blige for making up that..ummm..word(?) Enough Already with how cool it is to be gay-its not and its way more expensive than being straight. Lots of accessories with the gayness..
And Enough Already with this post...
Faces of Carla
Click the title of the post to view the album..
After watching people lose vauable non-replacable photos in the hurricane, I thought I should start loading stuff to the net to keep them preserved. I would suggest that if you can scan old stuff, it may prove wise in the long run. Plus it's a lot of fun to review your childhood in pictures..
A window into me...
Enjoy!
After watching people lose vauable non-replacable photos in the hurricane, I thought I should start loading stuff to the net to keep them preserved. I would suggest that if you can scan old stuff, it may prove wise in the long run. Plus it's a lot of fun to review your childhood in pictures..
A window into me...
Enjoy!
Keep it going
From a "conversation" on Myspace:
B’s points are vivid and vaild and this is exactly why I picked this forum (among others) to pose this view. And I respect all the people he mentioned and their contributions. Consider this to be the seed of thought that the ones who really HAVE to learn will eventually get because there will be people on all sides speaking out to support it.
One at a time:
“how could such a height of intellectual growth fall abruptly below sea level?“
Because despite the fact that we are descended from tribal people who lived from the earth, that has all been obliterated from most of our consciousness, like its something that we should be ashamed of. We are embarrassed by the image of the sharecropper, but that was who taught us to get in the attic with the ax in the first place. At least when we were slaves, we could carry ourselves and the whites on our backs and survive regardless of pain and TRUE hardship. Now we wait for others to save us. We also wait for others to dictate how far we should be allowed to progess and anyone who gets past that “progressive” point and gains some power a la Condolezza, aint trying to come back and make it better for anyone. She is the most educated black woman in power right now, carrying out the orders of a war monger. She’s the Ava Braun to Bush’s Hitler…
“how could the east coast black intellectual movement be halted so decisively?“
Maybe because it was just fashionable to be part of the black intellectual movement, paying lip service. Our media models for black intelligence are Oprah, Bill Cosby, and Ozzie Davis (before he died). They have totally lost touch with what needs to be in the black community. And I’ve been to some of these black intellectual forums and all it is black folks using big words to justify and legitimize their educations. It has nothing to do with reform or informing those that need the information. It’s about class and them finally thinking they achieved what they thought would make them credible in the white world.
“how did the west coast become so anti-black and anti black progress?”
I guess it’s the smog.
“why did American blacks abandon their will to progress?”
Because “progress” is based on the “white man’s” view of success and power: Money, Cars, Women, mansions, yachts, owning people and having the power to subject them to shit if you profit from it…Our tribal culture, when we were brought here, was not about that. Yoruba and Ifa belief did not speak of those things. We learned to want those things because that’s what the people who controlled us had. You wanna know why we are up to our necks in that retarded bling culture? Because 20 years ago when Sean Combs and Missy, and Little Kim and the rest were kids they sat in front of the TV in the ghetto and watched shit like Dynasty and Dallas and Lifestyles of the Rich and famous and desperately wanted that. That was what raised them…and now its proliferating into our culture in such a destructive way that the same fucked up over the top problems that used to just be a sensational TV plot IS their actual reality. So real that some of them are doing real jail time…
“did the rise of the political "hispanic" (many who lot who are acutally black) help to water-down specific RACE-based movements in America?”
ENOUGH WITH DRAWING LINES BETWEEN US AND HISPANICS. We are the same people with the same needs. The only difference between blacks and Hispanic culture is that they have a defining language and culture that UNIFIES them. As much as Puerto Ricans and Dominicans swear they are different from each other, they are so not. And these are people who are not that far removed from living close to the land from whatever countries they came from to be here. So that if they are in the situation where they have to fend for themselves, they can. Please admit that many of there blacks we saw in NO waiting for help were the same blacks sitting around before then doing nothing and being supported by help from the government.
“Indeed, even people from India learned to get educated BEFORE coming west.”
OF COURSE! Look at the country they come from that has got us beat by like 6,000 years and how their people are STILL dying in the street from hunger. They come here educated because they have no other choice. I have massive amounts of respect for young Indian people educating themselves and getting those tech jobs because after 6,000 years they may be the force that brings India into another 1,000 years of growth. We should be looking at them and the Asians who work in the stores and restaurants here and educate their children to become our doctors and we should be taking serious notes…
“the African American celebrity culture completely sold out - and continue to sell out their own "race" merely to peddle their wares to the majority of Americans: the non- hispanic, non-Jewish white majority.”
No argument there and we could go on for days citing examples…
“anti- black sentiment is not a new phenomenon. research the success and failure of every black milieu over the last 200 years and you will notice a distinct pattern from step-in-fetch-it to Chicken George.”
Because once a “nigger” gets a taste of power, he will sell his own mama out to keep it.
“black self hatred is inevitable because blacks still exist in this culture at the behest of the white majority.”
That, in 2005, is no longer true and is a cop out. We have more Hispanics, Asians and Blacks combined than white people and maybe if we started waking up to this fact and building commerce and resources amongst those 3 groups…Black people hate themselves because they KNOW what they are doing is a cop out and it don’t sit right in the soul. If you are smoking blunts all day and fucking and stealing and wasting your time chasing money and not getting anywhere, the last person you are going to blame is yourself. I speak from experience: I am intelligent and I went through a self hating time when all I did was have no job and smoke a lot of trees and there was ALWAYS a crew to hang with everyday who did the same shit. And everybody had the same story: It’s hard to be black out here so let’s just smoke this L and commiserate and play video games and do nothing to alter the situation. Eventually, I began to hate my self-loathing and pulled it together. It helped that I had another world to escape to that pulled me out of it and gave me some incentive to move on.
“and black "progress" is subject to what extent the "white man's burden" can determine a threshold of bearable "pain". or how many cultural concessions can the white majority make/give? ..before they b(l)acklash...?”
How bout this: In 2005 EVERYONE is subject to pain. Once 9/11 and the tsunami and countless other natural things we can’t control (people included) happened, the white man’s burden is now all of ours. White dominant culture has been making bad choices for so long that even the goddamn hurricane itself was partly their fault because of the heating of the environment. Fuck concessions: they needed us to build this fucking country and they’ll need us to clean up all the shit hitting the fan…
“I will concede that your thread is far to progressive for this majority-white forum on "MYSPACE" (with all due respect to our white brethren) this is a well worn path of discussion in the back intelligentsia and whites ... “
I disagree: There are many intelligent people of color here and hopefully this discussion will bring them out. Fuck the black intelligentsia. We are PEOPLE. Let us finally be people talking to other people…
This is from one of my friends, a white guy named Guinea Bastard who said: “There is a clear division among race/class in our world, no matter how much the right tries to say things like "Well, there are poor white people, too". I agree, if you are a human being with a dick swinging between your legs, you should have the gumption to stand up and take responsibility, so called " be a man" , but i feel that there is alot of anger and confusion involved in being made to feel some sort of responsibility in a crisis when you have basically been taught that you are of a lower class in this world and you, your family, opinion, and class status really doesnt make a difference in this world. I just saw alot of people displaced, and they were mostly brown faces. Our government fucked this one up very badly, once again. I am also not trying to shoot you or anyone else a dose of that liberal, white guilt(the worst kind of racism)...you are correct, ultimately, you are either a caring human being or you are not. So confusing, these times we live in.”
“They just don't HAVE to study it. this is not to say that they are not capable of comprehending it. they just don't HAVE to. “
But they DO and we as blacks should be healthy enough in ourselves to be able to see it and hear it.
“New Orleans is first a horrible natural disaster. It is also an anachronistic state where old world America and its loathsome past still survives. The poverty and Post-Slavery-era mindset there is painful reminder that this culture is still .. so very young.”
..and yet we are one of the oldest cultures on earth and we still haven’t gotten it… It’s not a coincidence that cities like NO and in Thailand got washed away by the waters of the earth. They were some of the most debauched cities, built for just that purpose. In Yoruba belief, there is the triad of mother goddesses focused on water. Yemaya is the Great Mother of the sea, Oshun the River Mother and Oya, the Goddess of Storms, Rain and Lightning. Right now, with African culture all over the world, we are sick and polluted with our own evil and self-hatred. We are abandoning the spirit for the flesh, we kill our own children heartlessly and even fuck them if our desires can’t be controlled. We use drugs and liquor for hedonistic escapism, we curse each other if one prospers, and go as far as to steal what we did not earn. And now the mothers are cleaning house. Oya and Yemaya let their power be seen through Katrina. Oshun overflowed when her mothers did their work. And many of NO’s elders were the first to be taken back into Yemaya’s arms. The mothers see that, just like 200 years ago, if her children are to survive and grow, they must be taken from where they are and planted somewhere else. Birth is painful. The displaced people who now have to find other cities to start over are the same as their ancestors 150 years ago who wandered the roads of the south after slavery and the Civil War ended, searching for those who were lost to them for years and with no place to go back to...
B’s points are vivid and vaild and this is exactly why I picked this forum (among others) to pose this view. And I respect all the people he mentioned and their contributions. Consider this to be the seed of thought that the ones who really HAVE to learn will eventually get because there will be people on all sides speaking out to support it.
One at a time:
“how could such a height of intellectual growth fall abruptly below sea level?“
Because despite the fact that we are descended from tribal people who lived from the earth, that has all been obliterated from most of our consciousness, like its something that we should be ashamed of. We are embarrassed by the image of the sharecropper, but that was who taught us to get in the attic with the ax in the first place. At least when we were slaves, we could carry ourselves and the whites on our backs and survive regardless of pain and TRUE hardship. Now we wait for others to save us. We also wait for others to dictate how far we should be allowed to progess and anyone who gets past that “progressive” point and gains some power a la Condolezza, aint trying to come back and make it better for anyone. She is the most educated black woman in power right now, carrying out the orders of a war monger. She’s the Ava Braun to Bush’s Hitler…
“how could the east coast black intellectual movement be halted so decisively?“
Maybe because it was just fashionable to be part of the black intellectual movement, paying lip service. Our media models for black intelligence are Oprah, Bill Cosby, and Ozzie Davis (before he died). They have totally lost touch with what needs to be in the black community. And I’ve been to some of these black intellectual forums and all it is black folks using big words to justify and legitimize their educations. It has nothing to do with reform or informing those that need the information. It’s about class and them finally thinking they achieved what they thought would make them credible in the white world.
“how did the west coast become so anti-black and anti black progress?”
I guess it’s the smog.
“why did American blacks abandon their will to progress?”
Because “progress” is based on the “white man’s” view of success and power: Money, Cars, Women, mansions, yachts, owning people and having the power to subject them to shit if you profit from it…Our tribal culture, when we were brought here, was not about that. Yoruba and Ifa belief did not speak of those things. We learned to want those things because that’s what the people who controlled us had. You wanna know why we are up to our necks in that retarded bling culture? Because 20 years ago when Sean Combs and Missy, and Little Kim and the rest were kids they sat in front of the TV in the ghetto and watched shit like Dynasty and Dallas and Lifestyles of the Rich and famous and desperately wanted that. That was what raised them…and now its proliferating into our culture in such a destructive way that the same fucked up over the top problems that used to just be a sensational TV plot IS their actual reality. So real that some of them are doing real jail time…
“did the rise of the political "hispanic" (many who lot who are acutally black) help to water-down specific RACE-based movements in America?”
ENOUGH WITH DRAWING LINES BETWEEN US AND HISPANICS. We are the same people with the same needs. The only difference between blacks and Hispanic culture is that they have a defining language and culture that UNIFIES them. As much as Puerto Ricans and Dominicans swear they are different from each other, they are so not. And these are people who are not that far removed from living close to the land from whatever countries they came from to be here. So that if they are in the situation where they have to fend for themselves, they can. Please admit that many of there blacks we saw in NO waiting for help were the same blacks sitting around before then doing nothing and being supported by help from the government.
“Indeed, even people from India learned to get educated BEFORE coming west.”
OF COURSE! Look at the country they come from that has got us beat by like 6,000 years and how their people are STILL dying in the street from hunger. They come here educated because they have no other choice. I have massive amounts of respect for young Indian people educating themselves and getting those tech jobs because after 6,000 years they may be the force that brings India into another 1,000 years of growth. We should be looking at them and the Asians who work in the stores and restaurants here and educate their children to become our doctors and we should be taking serious notes…
“the African American celebrity culture completely sold out - and continue to sell out their own "race" merely to peddle their wares to the majority of Americans: the non- hispanic, non-Jewish white majority.”
No argument there and we could go on for days citing examples…
“anti- black sentiment is not a new phenomenon. research the success and failure of every black milieu over the last 200 years and you will notice a distinct pattern from step-in-fetch-it to Chicken George.”
Because once a “nigger” gets a taste of power, he will sell his own mama out to keep it.
“black self hatred is inevitable because blacks still exist in this culture at the behest of the white majority.”
That, in 2005, is no longer true and is a cop out. We have more Hispanics, Asians and Blacks combined than white people and maybe if we started waking up to this fact and building commerce and resources amongst those 3 groups…Black people hate themselves because they KNOW what they are doing is a cop out and it don’t sit right in the soul. If you are smoking blunts all day and fucking and stealing and wasting your time chasing money and not getting anywhere, the last person you are going to blame is yourself. I speak from experience: I am intelligent and I went through a self hating time when all I did was have no job and smoke a lot of trees and there was ALWAYS a crew to hang with everyday who did the same shit. And everybody had the same story: It’s hard to be black out here so let’s just smoke this L and commiserate and play video games and do nothing to alter the situation. Eventually, I began to hate my self-loathing and pulled it together. It helped that I had another world to escape to that pulled me out of it and gave me some incentive to move on.
“and black "progress" is subject to what extent the "white man's burden" can determine a threshold of bearable "pain". or how many cultural concessions can the white majority make/give? ..before they b(l)acklash...?”
How bout this: In 2005 EVERYONE is subject to pain. Once 9/11 and the tsunami and countless other natural things we can’t control (people included) happened, the white man’s burden is now all of ours. White dominant culture has been making bad choices for so long that even the goddamn hurricane itself was partly their fault because of the heating of the environment. Fuck concessions: they needed us to build this fucking country and they’ll need us to clean up all the shit hitting the fan…
“I will concede that your thread is far to progressive for this majority-white forum on "MYSPACE" (with all due respect to our white brethren) this is a well worn path of discussion in the back intelligentsia and whites ... “
I disagree: There are many intelligent people of color here and hopefully this discussion will bring them out. Fuck the black intelligentsia. We are PEOPLE. Let us finally be people talking to other people…
This is from one of my friends, a white guy named Guinea Bastard who said: “There is a clear division among race/class in our world, no matter how much the right tries to say things like "Well, there are poor white people, too". I agree, if you are a human being with a dick swinging between your legs, you should have the gumption to stand up and take responsibility, so called " be a man" , but i feel that there is alot of anger and confusion involved in being made to feel some sort of responsibility in a crisis when you have basically been taught that you are of a lower class in this world and you, your family, opinion, and class status really doesnt make a difference in this world. I just saw alot of people displaced, and they were mostly brown faces. Our government fucked this one up very badly, once again. I am also not trying to shoot you or anyone else a dose of that liberal, white guilt(the worst kind of racism)...you are correct, ultimately, you are either a caring human being or you are not. So confusing, these times we live in.”
“They just don't HAVE to study it. this is not to say that they are not capable of comprehending it. they just don't HAVE to. “
But they DO and we as blacks should be healthy enough in ourselves to be able to see it and hear it.
“New Orleans is first a horrible natural disaster. It is also an anachronistic state where old world America and its loathsome past still survives. The poverty and Post-Slavery-era mindset there is painful reminder that this culture is still .. so very young.”
..and yet we are one of the oldest cultures on earth and we still haven’t gotten it… It’s not a coincidence that cities like NO and in Thailand got washed away by the waters of the earth. They were some of the most debauched cities, built for just that purpose. In Yoruba belief, there is the triad of mother goddesses focused on water. Yemaya is the Great Mother of the sea, Oshun the River Mother and Oya, the Goddess of Storms, Rain and Lightning. Right now, with African culture all over the world, we are sick and polluted with our own evil and self-hatred. We are abandoning the spirit for the flesh, we kill our own children heartlessly and even fuck them if our desires can’t be controlled. We use drugs and liquor for hedonistic escapism, we curse each other if one prospers, and go as far as to steal what we did not earn. And now the mothers are cleaning house. Oya and Yemaya let their power be seen through Katrina. Oshun overflowed when her mothers did their work. And many of NO’s elders were the first to be taken back into Yemaya’s arms. The mothers see that, just like 200 years ago, if her children are to survive and grow, they must be taken from where they are and planted somewhere else. Birth is painful. The displaced people who now have to find other cities to start over are the same as their ancestors 150 years ago who wandered the roads of the south after slavery and the Civil War ended, searching for those who were lost to them for years and with no place to go back to...
The "Nigger" must die...
Some people thought I was being melodramatic about the New Orleans looting thing. BUT watchin CNN yesterday and this really cute arab guy who owns a hotel there told the story of 8 cops who basicaly bogarted the hotel, threatned people, patched into what little electricity there was to run a fridge to keep stolen beers cold, kicked in doors and pulled guns on folks cause they were missing a muffin or some shit. THEN the motherfuckers took a school bus from the Superdome (cause it's the only thing that could run in all that water) and went around all night breaking into people's houses and stealing their shit. They packed the school bus with all the shit they stole, and left all those poor people to fend for themselves. Busses filled with all the momentos of other people's abandoned lives for what? Some greedy psychotic niggers with badges?
It's time someone said this: JUST BY THE NATURE OF THE FACTS CAN YOU TELL THESE ARE BLACK MEN. AND they asked the police chief what the hell he's gonna do about it and the assholes are trying to keep up that Code of Police Honor by saying "we don't have all the facts and that it was mistaken identity" FUCK THAT!
I was standing in line for the express bus the other day on my way to work. Anyone who has taken one of these busses knows you wait in line, first come, first serve. Well, here comes this big sweaty nigga with his work shirt open so you can see his big gut and the mutherfucker just jumps right in front of me on line and starts kicking it to this Dominican girl. So I'm like "Yo, money...there's line". This fuck starts trying to be like "Oh no, you don't have to wait on line, you can do what you want, ma." My response: "Oh, so if I kick you in your nuts and get on this bus in front of you, it's all good then, right?" Now he doesn't know what to say cause HE GOT CALLED OUT and the rest of the ride he and the girl do everything they can to get attention, so loud that someone had to ask them to shut the fuck up. He wasn't a kid..this nigga had to be in his 40's.
Getting off the train at 42nd street and there's an escalator that most people step to the right on so others in a hurry can walk up on the left. Again, another evil middle aged nigga mutherfucker, refused to step over to the right so this girl could walk past him. He says to her "Unless you can fly honey, you aint going nowhere". That's when I, cause I'm always in a hurry, am like "Fuck that, 'scuse me." and try to push past him. This nigga actually hit me in the arm and I lost it right there in Grand Central. "Who do you think you are you old fuck?!! I should have our ass arrested for assualt!" He tried to argue back but the sight of a loud dready gyal calling him an old punk ass decrepit peice of shit just embarassed him and he slithered away.
Trying to cash my check and there's MAD people cause it's Friday at like 2pm. The place is packed and there are maybe 5 people ahead of me and these ghetto girls at the back of the line. One of the tellers opens her window and says next on line. The two ghetto bitches run up to the front. Who do you think said something? Of course, me. I say directly to them "There are people who have been waiting here all this time, and how do you jump in front of them?" One bitch gets embarrased and says she'll cash it later and quickly leaves, while the more niggerish of the two starts sucking her teeth and rolling her neck and, I swear to god, broke into a full blown dance on line like "haha, I'm before you" to which I reply "You ignorant bitch." The old black man in front of me shruggs his shoulders like "whatcha gonna do, eh?." "This is exactly the reason the world treats us like we are dumb animals that need to be saved cause stupid bitches like her do shit like this and our elders don't check them." He said nothing, got embarrassed, the whole line looked at the floor cause they knew it was the truth, and the stupid bitch didn't even get it. She just jumped in front of someone else.
Here's what it comes down to: Black people gained money and fame and lost all sense of humility and shame. It used to be back in the days as a black person in this country, the last thing you wanted to do was set the race back. If you fucked up, there was many people ready to whoop yo ass cause you embarrassed yourself and your people. Now, with Bobby and Whitney, and ads on BET telling black people "pay yo damn cable bill so you can watch (insert really corny ass show here)...", New Orleans niggas looting, there's no sense of class... even fucking OPRAH bugging out and getting diva cause she wasn't let into a store that was CLOSING for the day, and called and dragged the president of the store's company on her show to berate him, holding the fact that she can tell all those bored middle aged white women not to shop there over his head...She has completely lost touch with reality. I'm very ashamed to be black right now and more ashamed of the generation before us that allowed it to get this bad...
It's time someone said this: JUST BY THE NATURE OF THE FACTS CAN YOU TELL THESE ARE BLACK MEN. AND they asked the police chief what the hell he's gonna do about it and the assholes are trying to keep up that Code of Police Honor by saying "we don't have all the facts and that it was mistaken identity" FUCK THAT!
I was standing in line for the express bus the other day on my way to work. Anyone who has taken one of these busses knows you wait in line, first come, first serve. Well, here comes this big sweaty nigga with his work shirt open so you can see his big gut and the mutherfucker just jumps right in front of me on line and starts kicking it to this Dominican girl. So I'm like "Yo, money...there's line". This fuck starts trying to be like "Oh no, you don't have to wait on line, you can do what you want, ma." My response: "Oh, so if I kick you in your nuts and get on this bus in front of you, it's all good then, right?" Now he doesn't know what to say cause HE GOT CALLED OUT and the rest of the ride he and the girl do everything they can to get attention, so loud that someone had to ask them to shut the fuck up. He wasn't a kid..this nigga had to be in his 40's.
Getting off the train at 42nd street and there's an escalator that most people step to the right on so others in a hurry can walk up on the left. Again, another evil middle aged nigga mutherfucker, refused to step over to the right so this girl could walk past him. He says to her "Unless you can fly honey, you aint going nowhere". That's when I, cause I'm always in a hurry, am like "Fuck that, 'scuse me." and try to push past him. This nigga actually hit me in the arm and I lost it right there in Grand Central. "Who do you think you are you old fuck?!! I should have our ass arrested for assualt!" He tried to argue back but the sight of a loud dready gyal calling him an old punk ass decrepit peice of shit just embarassed him and he slithered away.
Trying to cash my check and there's MAD people cause it's Friday at like 2pm. The place is packed and there are maybe 5 people ahead of me and these ghetto girls at the back of the line. One of the tellers opens her window and says next on line. The two ghetto bitches run up to the front. Who do you think said something? Of course, me. I say directly to them "There are people who have been waiting here all this time, and how do you jump in front of them?" One bitch gets embarrased and says she'll cash it later and quickly leaves, while the more niggerish of the two starts sucking her teeth and rolling her neck and, I swear to god, broke into a full blown dance on line like "haha, I'm before you" to which I reply "You ignorant bitch." The old black man in front of me shruggs his shoulders like "whatcha gonna do, eh?." "This is exactly the reason the world treats us like we are dumb animals that need to be saved cause stupid bitches like her do shit like this and our elders don't check them." He said nothing, got embarrassed, the whole line looked at the floor cause they knew it was the truth, and the stupid bitch didn't even get it. She just jumped in front of someone else.
Here's what it comes down to: Black people gained money and fame and lost all sense of humility and shame. It used to be back in the days as a black person in this country, the last thing you wanted to do was set the race back. If you fucked up, there was many people ready to whoop yo ass cause you embarrassed yourself and your people. Now, with Bobby and Whitney, and ads on BET telling black people "pay yo damn cable bill so you can watch (insert really corny ass show here)...", New Orleans niggas looting, there's no sense of class... even fucking OPRAH bugging out and getting diva cause she wasn't let into a store that was CLOSING for the day, and called and dragged the president of the store's company on her show to berate him, holding the fact that she can tell all those bored middle aged white women not to shop there over his head...She has completely lost touch with reality. I'm very ashamed to be black right now and more ashamed of the generation before us that allowed it to get this bad...
Katrina's Wake
I haven't really written here since all the horrible events in New Orleans. I figured there was enough being said and done and that I would refrain from writing any scathing indictments of the Government. You can turn on the TV for that.
Instead I am writing about the more insidious damage this tragedy has wrought.
1) Why is there no one among all the wealthy black public figures addressing the fact that Black men completely left the saving of black women and children to the government? Where weren't all the adult black men at the Superdome getting organized and at least trying to protect the innocents there? Why were little kids allow to be raped and killed and their ankles broken so they could not walk? When CNN interviewed a heliocopter commander and asked him what the biggest impediment to airlifting folks to safety his response was "The men. They were practically fighting each other to get on first, leaving the women and babies and sick to wait." They had to actually turn guns on them to force them off so they could load the others. The scope of this tragedy was huge and everyone was hungry and scared. But what the fuck was the point of shit like the Million Man March if all black men are going to do is snap and leave us to die? We had to look to white and latino faces to show us compassion while half of our men stole guns, drugs, liquor and TV's, raped babies and shot at the people sent there to help them, and the other half too scared or old to check them. The thug is alllowed to run free in this country because other black men don't have the guts to come together. They will kill each other over some dumb shit they said in a mediocre song, but when real tragedy hits and we needed them, they lost it and there is no one to step up and hold them accountable. I was so angry that I thought of cutting my locks, joining the National Guard and picking up the gun. If I see any black man with a gun in his hand and his dick in a child, he's getting mercked before he even knew I was watching him. If ya'll won't do it, then sistahs will also regress into our animal nature and hunt you down like a pack of armed lionesses. WORD TO THE IG'NANT BRUH'S: The future may bring you no other choice but to fuck white and asian chicks cause no black woman worth her salt is going to trust that she'll be safe with you and look elsewhere herself.
2) There are folks out there using the hurricane and misery to push their agendas and religion on others in some weird doomsday plot to get everyone ready for god. I have an ex-friend so haughty, narrow minded and bored after a not so special reunion between us where I called to reconnect with her, she basically told me she has to pray to god first before she can make a decision to see her and that I must first prove my self worthy of her company now that she dwells with the Lord. After I tell her no thank you and that it was a mistake, the psycho sends people on her mailing list the following:
"Loved ones,
Hurricane Katrina has started a trend: Reunions. As we watch with tears of joy in our eyes families losing and finding their loved ones, we feel drawn to reach for our own telephones and mouses to reconnect with those we've not heard from but often think about. Although I live in a part of the South that has not been touched by this devastation (except for our hearts), my phone has been ringing off the hook. I love and appreciate that people are thinking about me. It warms my heart to be cared about by people I've neglected or whom I wondered if I'd ever hear from again. I, too, am reaching out. I've been on the phones and computer to just about all of my California pals. Some I haven't spoken to since 2003 when I left California. I love the way the Lord works. What Satan means for evil (Death, destruction), God makes good (Reunion, Revival, Repentance). Here is a prayer for anyone toying with the idea of hosting a long lost pal or family member -- be they victims seeking shelter from the storm, old flames trying to worm their way back into your heart/bed, or just a well-meaning friend digging through the rubble of burnt bridges:
LORD, REVEAL THE TRUTH OF (PERON'S NAME)'S CHARACTER TO ME. OPEN MY EYES TO SEE HIM/HER AS YOU SEE THEM. IF I AM ABOUT TO GET INTO AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE, SHOW ME. I WANT YOUR FAVOR ON EVERY PART OF MY LIFE. PROVIDE ME WITH AN OUT IF I NEED ONE.
God is our father. For some of us, He's the only father we've ever known. Let Him protect you like a good father does. Consult God often."
So don't have unconditional love for anyone who is seeking to connect and build a bond or who may be searching for a refuge. No, hold them at arms length while you ask god how he sees them so you can have an excuse to judge them and therefore have a way OUT of helping them if they don't suit you. The fact that she used the tragedy of the hurricane and suffering to make that point makes me so sick that I even thought of her at all, and sad that she has a child that is going to grow up with a self aggrandizing hypocrite fraud with no original thoughts of her own, co-opting god as a means to her own importance. This is just as bad as Richard Simmons going on National TV to have a breakdown about the safety of his brother from the hurricane when it is documented that his brother got out of NO days BEFORE the storm and was safe all along. You should have seen the shameless way that idiot broke down, and his brother playing along in front of the cameras after having said "You knew we were out of harm's way before.."
3) Anyone who is suprised that the goverment is unprepared and run by morons should be shot.
Instead I am writing about the more insidious damage this tragedy has wrought.
1) Why is there no one among all the wealthy black public figures addressing the fact that Black men completely left the saving of black women and children to the government? Where weren't all the adult black men at the Superdome getting organized and at least trying to protect the innocents there? Why were little kids allow to be raped and killed and their ankles broken so they could not walk? When CNN interviewed a heliocopter commander and asked him what the biggest impediment to airlifting folks to safety his response was "The men. They were practically fighting each other to get on first, leaving the women and babies and sick to wait." They had to actually turn guns on them to force them off so they could load the others. The scope of this tragedy was huge and everyone was hungry and scared. But what the fuck was the point of shit like the Million Man March if all black men are going to do is snap and leave us to die? We had to look to white and latino faces to show us compassion while half of our men stole guns, drugs, liquor and TV's, raped babies and shot at the people sent there to help them, and the other half too scared or old to check them. The thug is alllowed to run free in this country because other black men don't have the guts to come together. They will kill each other over some dumb shit they said in a mediocre song, but when real tragedy hits and we needed them, they lost it and there is no one to step up and hold them accountable. I was so angry that I thought of cutting my locks, joining the National Guard and picking up the gun. If I see any black man with a gun in his hand and his dick in a child, he's getting mercked before he even knew I was watching him. If ya'll won't do it, then sistahs will also regress into our animal nature and hunt you down like a pack of armed lionesses. WORD TO THE IG'NANT BRUH'S: The future may bring you no other choice but to fuck white and asian chicks cause no black woman worth her salt is going to trust that she'll be safe with you and look elsewhere herself.
2) There are folks out there using the hurricane and misery to push their agendas and religion on others in some weird doomsday plot to get everyone ready for god. I have an ex-friend so haughty, narrow minded and bored after a not so special reunion between us where I called to reconnect with her, she basically told me she has to pray to god first before she can make a decision to see her and that I must first prove my self worthy of her company now that she dwells with the Lord. After I tell her no thank you and that it was a mistake, the psycho sends people on her mailing list the following:
"Loved ones,
Hurricane Katrina has started a trend: Reunions. As we watch with tears of joy in our eyes families losing and finding their loved ones, we feel drawn to reach for our own telephones and mouses to reconnect with those we've not heard from but often think about. Although I live in a part of the South that has not been touched by this devastation (except for our hearts), my phone has been ringing off the hook. I love and appreciate that people are thinking about me. It warms my heart to be cared about by people I've neglected or whom I wondered if I'd ever hear from again. I, too, am reaching out. I've been on the phones and computer to just about all of my California pals. Some I haven't spoken to since 2003 when I left California. I love the way the Lord works. What Satan means for evil (Death, destruction), God makes good (Reunion, Revival, Repentance). Here is a prayer for anyone toying with the idea of hosting a long lost pal or family member -- be they victims seeking shelter from the storm, old flames trying to worm their way back into your heart/bed, or just a well-meaning friend digging through the rubble of burnt bridges:
LORD, REVEAL THE TRUTH OF (PERON'S NAME)'S CHARACTER TO ME. OPEN MY EYES TO SEE HIM/HER AS YOU SEE THEM. IF I AM ABOUT TO GET INTO AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE, SHOW ME. I WANT YOUR FAVOR ON EVERY PART OF MY LIFE. PROVIDE ME WITH AN OUT IF I NEED ONE.
God is our father. For some of us, He's the only father we've ever known. Let Him protect you like a good father does. Consult God often."
So don't have unconditional love for anyone who is seeking to connect and build a bond or who may be searching for a refuge. No, hold them at arms length while you ask god how he sees them so you can have an excuse to judge them and therefore have a way OUT of helping them if they don't suit you. The fact that she used the tragedy of the hurricane and suffering to make that point makes me so sick that I even thought of her at all, and sad that she has a child that is going to grow up with a self aggrandizing hypocrite fraud with no original thoughts of her own, co-opting god as a means to her own importance. This is just as bad as Richard Simmons going on National TV to have a breakdown about the safety of his brother from the hurricane when it is documented that his brother got out of NO days BEFORE the storm and was safe all along. You should have seen the shameless way that idiot broke down, and his brother playing along in front of the cameras after having said "You knew we were out of harm's way before.."
3) Anyone who is suprised that the goverment is unprepared and run by morons should be shot.
One year and going strong...
This is the beginning of another turn of the wheel and if you have been following this blog, you'd know what a year it's been. A brief catch-up:
1). My friend that had the retarded boyfriend with the drugs and the Satan and all: A mutual friend had a great BBQ and invited her and her man. I was really happy to see her and I think she was just as happy to see me. HE, however, would do creepy shit like walk off into the distance and stare at me like I was supposed to speak to him. I had nothing to say. I was just glad she was ok and we were still cool. And really, I had no reason to be mad at her, other than not understanding why'd she'd picked a phlegm like him. But she explained to me that once her dad died, she kinda got depressed and experienced her own form of setback. I could relate. We both had to start back at one in a sense. Who knows what the glue is that keeps people together. I just hope that we can have our friendship back it tact without me having to know or like this guy.
2). Last year at this time I was having a bitter battle with my family and myself about the future. Was living with my grandmother, had no money or job and had the last straw (which is what sent me to my friend's house and her sick boyfriend). Of course, I have to take the blame for that situation cause if I hadn't been in my own fucked mind set, I would've never had to go there at all. But, like everything, there is a reason and the reason was me having to get over them and their problems and focus on my own.
3). I was just terribly unhappy..(see above). More than that, I had no happy people around me to learn from. All I had was people in various states of misery medicating themselves into acceptance and thinking that life is always like this and there's no hope. There was never a shortage of those people around. Even people I thought had it together were operating in misery mode, albeit with more money and things around them.
What a difference a year makes. Work picked up, I live somewhere that I actually enjoy and life is good. I'm going to make a serious effort to write about more uplifting things. I was becoming Queen of the Dammed for a minute, ya know?
Happy Anniversary...
Something's just not right...
I’m trying to get amped for spring, but something’s gone off a bit. Watching politicians and religious people get pious and holier than thou with the Terri Shiavo thing. It was a hard situation, but why’d it get turned into this biblical debate for life and death? The creepy, obvious irony of her whole situation is that she was in that “vegatative state” because she starved herself and had a heart attack from lack of potassium. In the end, she starved and the country used that for their own purposes. That was the ultimate crime in all this. The poor soul sat there and dried up and everyone took up the mantle. They’ll never attack the root of the problem being why she had to be so thin that it basically killed her.
Then there’s all the evangelical fervor growing in this country. People are sheep and the trend that is being followed now is getting God cause you’re scared and need to be aligned with something. Meanwhile, there are unscurpulous people making millions selling God to the faithful. I was always a NOVA geek, and the latest one was about the tsunami. Besides the tragedy, something else jumped out at me and made an impression. Scientists say that the earthquake in the Indian Ocean that triggered the tsunami was so strong that not only did the earth wobble, but that day was shorter because the wobble was so great that it made the earth spin faster. I’m a firm believer of “as above, so below”, and saw that as an indicator of what’s happening to mankind right now.
Many of our beliefs and misconceptions about life, living and dying are being challenged en masse in blunt, in-your-face ways. It’s like since 9/11, we have been barraged with an onslaught of mass death on a scale that we can’t take. Yes, we had world wars before and many people died in them. There have been tragedies since the beginning of recorded time. But something about now is disturbing. We are witnessing the kind of death that we can no longer justify in our minds. We previously accepted death through war because there’s a duty and tradition to it we can all relate to. Mothers have always sent their boys to war and lived with the possibility that their baby may die a hopefully honorable death. They resigned themselves to getting the folded flag and suffering nobly that their child died for a cause.
Not the generations now in America. Baby Boomers who spent their youth protesting war have not only have to face the painful fact that it was all for naught, but they are burying their children as a result. One mother brought me to tears when she sobbed on the news that she can’t understand why her child had to die in this war. “Ok, so the Iraqi people have the vote and democracy, but I lost my baby. Why?”
It leaves me feeling tired and weary. When we were younger, no matter how shitty your present was, there was always this hopeful future that kept you going. You always felt that it sucks now, but it’ll get better later. Maybe it’s cause I got older. It just doesn’t feel all that hopeful. I see this country sliding down the following tubes:
Reality shows are all over the place now because real reality is so horrifying that you don’t mind watching other people make dicks of themselves. I hate watching these things and watching manipulative, passive aggressive, narcisisstic assholes pretend they don’t know where the camera is.
Women, especially caucasian women, will have a collective nervous breakdown. They will realize that they’ve been starving themselves and cutting into themselves, and placing all their hopes on their titties and asses and it will eat them alive like a cancer. There are women all over the world who are treated worse than animals, meanwhile American women are getting shit shot into their lips. It seems so retarded.
Michael Jackson ain’t gonna make it out of this one alive.
The Pope, no matter how corrupt the Church got, was a great soul. I am not a practitioner of Christianity, but the Pope and Mother Theresa were the last Pure Christians that I admire. The other was Joan of Arc, but not for the obvious reasons. Joan was, when you strip away dogma and idealism, just a teenage girl who if you use what we know now, was probably bi-polar or schitzophrenic. She heard voices, had gender confusion, grandiose manic highs of victory and catatonic lows. The vital difference was her personality and faith led armies to victory. It also led to her untimely demise. She is the poster child for the crash and burn mentality, if you see the similarities. She was lionized, but she was a kid. A scared, confused, passionate, crazy kid. There were those who served under her that loved her more when she was found to be female, but it couldn’t make them save her. She seems like a real person to be in a surreal situation.
So too with the Pope. With all the vestments and holiness surrounding him, you felt like he was a grandpa-like man who really did love the children of the world and suffered for them. All the corruption and vileness of preists’ conduct didn’t apply to him. He was a pure soul. When I learned how he was as a kid in Poland, and the wars, and his faith, I was really moved to tears. He was the youngest man to become Pope and was the first non-italian. You have to be pretty friggin’ holy to do that. AND take a bullet and LIVE and FORGIVE the guy?! Have Parkinson’s (which my abuelita died of), and still try to be lucid and heal others. His papacy witnessed some of the most pivital, life altering events and we always counted on knowing what the Pope felt about it. No matter how warped religion gets or how corrupt, I will always have Joan, John Paul, Theresa to remind me of what the true meaning is. Along with Budda, and Shiva, and Yemaya, and Oshun, and Mary, and Isis, and on and on and on….BUT how creepy is it that they laid him out without enbalming him. Laying there ripening in the hot Italian sun...yeeech..
Saw something on TV about a guy that worked at group home. He saw the file of a pedofile in the home and saw that he admitted he would get high, drunk and mess with kids. IN WRITING. So he copied the file and contacted the authorities about it. Technically, he violated the confidentiality law, but he was trying to avert a disaster by notifying someone. Wasn’t found guilty of anything, but lost his job. Gained the respect of a whole town who thought he did the right thing and it made me wonder if I wouldn’t have done it too.
Found out yesterday that one of my favorite up and coming comedians died. If any of you knew the comedy of Mitch Hedberg, you knew the guy was cool and funny as hell. He was like this great mix of Bill Hicks and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Since I was on one of communication blackouts for the last month, I just found this out yesterday and was completely bummed out. He was only 37 and it’s a damn shame.
It just ain't right..
Then there’s all the evangelical fervor growing in this country. People are sheep and the trend that is being followed now is getting God cause you’re scared and need to be aligned with something. Meanwhile, there are unscurpulous people making millions selling God to the faithful. I was always a NOVA geek, and the latest one was about the tsunami. Besides the tragedy, something else jumped out at me and made an impression. Scientists say that the earthquake in the Indian Ocean that triggered the tsunami was so strong that not only did the earth wobble, but that day was shorter because the wobble was so great that it made the earth spin faster. I’m a firm believer of “as above, so below”, and saw that as an indicator of what’s happening to mankind right now.
Many of our beliefs and misconceptions about life, living and dying are being challenged en masse in blunt, in-your-face ways. It’s like since 9/11, we have been barraged with an onslaught of mass death on a scale that we can’t take. Yes, we had world wars before and many people died in them. There have been tragedies since the beginning of recorded time. But something about now is disturbing. We are witnessing the kind of death that we can no longer justify in our minds. We previously accepted death through war because there’s a duty and tradition to it we can all relate to. Mothers have always sent their boys to war and lived with the possibility that their baby may die a hopefully honorable death. They resigned themselves to getting the folded flag and suffering nobly that their child died for a cause.
Not the generations now in America. Baby Boomers who spent their youth protesting war have not only have to face the painful fact that it was all for naught, but they are burying their children as a result. One mother brought me to tears when she sobbed on the news that she can’t understand why her child had to die in this war. “Ok, so the Iraqi people have the vote and democracy, but I lost my baby. Why?”
It leaves me feeling tired and weary. When we were younger, no matter how shitty your present was, there was always this hopeful future that kept you going. You always felt that it sucks now, but it’ll get better later. Maybe it’s cause I got older. It just doesn’t feel all that hopeful. I see this country sliding down the following tubes:
Reality shows are all over the place now because real reality is so horrifying that you don’t mind watching other people make dicks of themselves. I hate watching these things and watching manipulative, passive aggressive, narcisisstic assholes pretend they don’t know where the camera is.
Women, especially caucasian women, will have a collective nervous breakdown. They will realize that they’ve been starving themselves and cutting into themselves, and placing all their hopes on their titties and asses and it will eat them alive like a cancer. There are women all over the world who are treated worse than animals, meanwhile American women are getting shit shot into their lips. It seems so retarded.
Michael Jackson ain’t gonna make it out of this one alive.
The Pope, no matter how corrupt the Church got, was a great soul. I am not a practitioner of Christianity, but the Pope and Mother Theresa were the last Pure Christians that I admire. The other was Joan of Arc, but not for the obvious reasons. Joan was, when you strip away dogma and idealism, just a teenage girl who if you use what we know now, was probably bi-polar or schitzophrenic. She heard voices, had gender confusion, grandiose manic highs of victory and catatonic lows. The vital difference was her personality and faith led armies to victory. It also led to her untimely demise. She is the poster child for the crash and burn mentality, if you see the similarities. She was lionized, but she was a kid. A scared, confused, passionate, crazy kid. There were those who served under her that loved her more when she was found to be female, but it couldn’t make them save her. She seems like a real person to be in a surreal situation.
So too with the Pope. With all the vestments and holiness surrounding him, you felt like he was a grandpa-like man who really did love the children of the world and suffered for them. All the corruption and vileness of preists’ conduct didn’t apply to him. He was a pure soul. When I learned how he was as a kid in Poland, and the wars, and his faith, I was really moved to tears. He was the youngest man to become Pope and was the first non-italian. You have to be pretty friggin’ holy to do that. AND take a bullet and LIVE and FORGIVE the guy?! Have Parkinson’s (which my abuelita died of), and still try to be lucid and heal others. His papacy witnessed some of the most pivital, life altering events and we always counted on knowing what the Pope felt about it. No matter how warped religion gets or how corrupt, I will always have Joan, John Paul, Theresa to remind me of what the true meaning is. Along with Budda, and Shiva, and Yemaya, and Oshun, and Mary, and Isis, and on and on and on….BUT how creepy is it that they laid him out without enbalming him. Laying there ripening in the hot Italian sun...yeeech..
Saw something on TV about a guy that worked at group home. He saw the file of a pedofile in the home and saw that he admitted he would get high, drunk and mess with kids. IN WRITING. So he copied the file and contacted the authorities about it. Technically, he violated the confidentiality law, but he was trying to avert a disaster by notifying someone. Wasn’t found guilty of anything, but lost his job. Gained the respect of a whole town who thought he did the right thing and it made me wonder if I wouldn’t have done it too.
Found out yesterday that one of my favorite up and coming comedians died. If any of you knew the comedy of Mitch Hedberg, you knew the guy was cool and funny as hell. He was like this great mix of Bill Hicks and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Since I was on one of communication blackouts for the last month, I just found this out yesterday and was completely bummed out. He was only 37 and it’s a damn shame.
It just ain't right..
Got Evil?
I read these stories FROM THE SAME DAY in the Daily News and shuddered...
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284403p-243554c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284410p-243472c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284411p-243569c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284414p-243541c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284415p-243483c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284416p-243469c.html
It made me wonder: Were people always this evil, or are borderline people snapping? It seems so brutal. At least in the Dark Ages when they tortured you, they had a whole system of belief that supported it somehow. But these people are ...well, for lack of a better word, evil. But just what IS evil?
Is it some red guy in a fiery place that whispers in your ear and makes you do bad things? Or is it the simple brutal truth..some people, some seemingly normal, nice, funny charismatic people could just as easily turn on you in a brutal vicious spiteful way. Or look the other way when some more evil fuck is torturing someone. One can only imagine finding another evil one to do shit like tie up a kid, beat the shit out of him, cut him, burn him and letting him die OVER A SINGLE DOLLAR. That these people could engage in a simple affair or relationship and rather than leave indignantly when it goes sour, they kill them. That was the only option for them...you have to die. You can't be with anyone else, so you must die violently. To be so evil that you get sentenced to jail and giggle. Are you crazy? Insane? Retarded? or did you just snap and decide "Ok..I know I'm going to get caught, I know I'll go to jail and maybe even get put to death, but you cannot be allowed to live. To kill another is about the worst karmic thing you can do. If you killed someone indirectly or without specific malice, or even by accident, you have guilt over it because you meant no harm. But some DO mean harm. Some LOVE harm. Some need harm. These are not raving lunatics who talk to themselves. These are people you think you knew. When they hear that they've done something that extreme, they can't understand it. It's such a shock that they would kill in such a cruel way.
What came over them? Remember my ex-friend with the drugged-out boyfriend I lived with (see "Chicks are losing their shit"? Satanism, and drugs and boredom. Her father was getting sicker and she insisted on bringing this kid to the hospital. She even got mad and decided that she was "stepping off on the family" cause they wouldn't accept this person who was so selfish and fucked up that his being fawned over was more important than a very sick father who wanted to see his daughter. So she stepped off. And two weeks later he was dead. Those precious moments of closure that she could have had if she left this jerk behind to deal with, instead was spent losing a lot of weight, her job, her family, her sanity, and her independence. And she doesn't care. She obviously doesn't care. If she did, and had the strength to see through this illusion, she would have ran far away. But instead, if he goes down, so does she. On the Satan tip, remember the charm she made for him?. It was a lock of her hair woven into wire with tiny handcuff clasps. Black candles with $100 bills under them. She put that energy out there and now she's paying for it. People who knew her well are in agreement: She's not the same person. She's the shell of that person. She was always thin, but now she's gaunt. Bones. Her phone, in the 8 years I've know her, rarely got cut off. Was when someone tried to get a hold of her recently, tho. They tried to go to her job to get in touch and they were like "We love her, but she might have to get fired cause she hasn't been showing up." A complete 180 degree flip.
I'd like to think I was spiritually evolved enough to not reduce things to good and evil. There are blurred areas, especially in the realm of politics and religion. But there is something happening to people that is making them do horrific things. We have war overseas, and people here killing in heinous ways. That can't be good, can it?
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284403p-243554c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284410p-243472c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284411p-243569c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284414p-243541c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284415p-243483c.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284416p-243469c.html
It made me wonder: Were people always this evil, or are borderline people snapping? It seems so brutal. At least in the Dark Ages when they tortured you, they had a whole system of belief that supported it somehow. But these people are ...well, for lack of a better word, evil. But just what IS evil?
Is it some red guy in a fiery place that whispers in your ear and makes you do bad things? Or is it the simple brutal truth..some people, some seemingly normal, nice, funny charismatic people could just as easily turn on you in a brutal vicious spiteful way. Or look the other way when some more evil fuck is torturing someone. One can only imagine finding another evil one to do shit like tie up a kid, beat the shit out of him, cut him, burn him and letting him die OVER A SINGLE DOLLAR. That these people could engage in a simple affair or relationship and rather than leave indignantly when it goes sour, they kill them. That was the only option for them...you have to die. You can't be with anyone else, so you must die violently. To be so evil that you get sentenced to jail and giggle. Are you crazy? Insane? Retarded? or did you just snap and decide "Ok..I know I'm going to get caught, I know I'll go to jail and maybe even get put to death, but you cannot be allowed to live. To kill another is about the worst karmic thing you can do. If you killed someone indirectly or without specific malice, or even by accident, you have guilt over it because you meant no harm. But some DO mean harm. Some LOVE harm. Some need harm. These are not raving lunatics who talk to themselves. These are people you think you knew. When they hear that they've done something that extreme, they can't understand it. It's such a shock that they would kill in such a cruel way.
What came over them? Remember my ex-friend with the drugged-out boyfriend I lived with (see "Chicks are losing their shit"? Satanism, and drugs and boredom. Her father was getting sicker and she insisted on bringing this kid to the hospital. She even got mad and decided that she was "stepping off on the family" cause they wouldn't accept this person who was so selfish and fucked up that his being fawned over was more important than a very sick father who wanted to see his daughter. So she stepped off. And two weeks later he was dead. Those precious moments of closure that she could have had if she left this jerk behind to deal with, instead was spent losing a lot of weight, her job, her family, her sanity, and her independence. And she doesn't care. She obviously doesn't care. If she did, and had the strength to see through this illusion, she would have ran far away. But instead, if he goes down, so does she. On the Satan tip, remember the charm she made for him?. It was a lock of her hair woven into wire with tiny handcuff clasps. Black candles with $100 bills under them. She put that energy out there and now she's paying for it. People who knew her well are in agreement: She's not the same person. She's the shell of that person. She was always thin, but now she's gaunt. Bones. Her phone, in the 8 years I've know her, rarely got cut off. Was when someone tried to get a hold of her recently, tho. They tried to go to her job to get in touch and they were like "We love her, but she might have to get fired cause she hasn't been showing up." A complete 180 degree flip.
I'd like to think I was spiritually evolved enough to not reduce things to good and evil. There are blurred areas, especially in the realm of politics and religion. But there is something happening to people that is making them do horrific things. We have war overseas, and people here killing in heinous ways. That can't be good, can it?
Some of my photos and artwork
Click on the header above to see some stuff I've done. I am going back and finding old work so this will be growing. I'm also getting back into doing new stuff like t-shirts and flyers. Enjoy.
Music as therapy..
Since I've been away, I've been having my ususal ups and downs. I could go into gory detail, and at some point I will, but in the midst of all this conflict and having to adapt to situations I wasn't terribly happy with, I managed to find pleasant distractions. One of them being music. I would find a quiet time, usually late at night into the morning hours, much like now. I seem to be more creative at night. My promotions work is done under Nephthys One Media Managment, Nephthys being one of the Goddesses of Night.
So in these late, quiet times, I'd get on my laptop and play with Reason. I can't say more about these programs. If you can get your hands on one of them, give yourself the patience to learn it. Think of it as a music toy and you can play things however you like. The trick is to actually have a good ear for melody and rhythm and harmony and such. I have to give credit to people I remember stimulating me with music.
The first are my uncles. They were teenagers when I was born, and they had very eclectic tastes for black men in the early 70's. They, and my parents, listened to the Beatles and Zepplin and the Doors and The Faces and all these tripped out UK bands. My first official favorite band was The Police. I was 9. My uncle brought Outlandos D'Amour and Zenyatta Mondatta and I literally fell in love with it. It was the first music where I really understood the lyrics and the music mezmerized me. Then I fell in love with Jimi Hendrix after a friend taped every song he ever made and gave it to me for my birthday. I was convinced that if only I had been alive and an adult when he was, he would still be here. What a cosmic joke that the man of my dreams died when I was 10 months old. Then I went through a MAJOR Beatles phase, just around the whole 20 anniversary of the Summer of Love stuff. I hippied out and decided that Paul is my favorite, John was a genius in his own right, and George kinda creeped me out, but I grew to dig his vibe. Ringo doesn't make any impression on me. He's like the Shemp of the Beatles.
I also had a great 5th grade teacher named Mr. Kolataze at P.S. 97 in the Bronx. I had moved there in the mid- 4th grade, so I was the New Girl. That year was tough. I had come from a school in Yonkers that was one of those progressive schools with no walls and split grade classes. I could read very well when I went to kindergarten so they had me go to 3rd grade reading classes. I was in a class where it was high functioning 4th graders and mid fuctioning 5th graders. I guess the idea was that somewhere in the middle they could close the gap. Seemed to work, from what I remember. Very different from an old 85 year old school with traditional wooden desks and the big creaky windows that you needed a long stick to open. I went from New Age to Old School, and I stuck out. But I was still bright and got along. In the 5th grade, I had Kolataze and I knew right away it was going to be a cool year. He was tall, lean, good looking and had longish hair and he was a piano player who LOVED Beethoven. Had a bust of him right on the piano in the classroom. He could play his ass off and he would take bee pollen in the middle of class and taught us to play Song of Joy on the recorder and did cool shit like play the soundtrack to The Shining beacause it was all Bela Bartok music. I was 10 and listening to Bartok and sneaking to watch the movie so I could see what I heard. AND we still managed to learn all our other subjects. He was the kind of teacher I liked..they knew when to be serious and when to be really cool and you did well in his class cause you really wanted to. You felt like the cool stuff was the bonus for doing the boring stuff. That was the year Lennon got killed and the guy was destroyed. He just sat at the piano and played slow, sad Beatles stuff and we listened to Sgt Pepper, and I really understood how deep music was. He was so cool that he even dated someone's mom at school. It was the talk of 1980. Mrs. Andrucki. Either widowed or divorced or maybe still married, who knows. One of her daughters was a year ahead of me and one a year behind. The got one look at each other and it was a wrap. The last time I ran into him in the 90's, they were still together.
So, now I sit here and experiment my own. Once I figure out which site I can load it to, you'll hear it. Soon Come..
So in these late, quiet times, I'd get on my laptop and play with Reason. I can't say more about these programs. If you can get your hands on one of them, give yourself the patience to learn it. Think of it as a music toy and you can play things however you like. The trick is to actually have a good ear for melody and rhythm and harmony and such. I have to give credit to people I remember stimulating me with music.
The first are my uncles. They were teenagers when I was born, and they had very eclectic tastes for black men in the early 70's. They, and my parents, listened to the Beatles and Zepplin and the Doors and The Faces and all these tripped out UK bands. My first official favorite band was The Police. I was 9. My uncle brought Outlandos D'Amour and Zenyatta Mondatta and I literally fell in love with it. It was the first music where I really understood the lyrics and the music mezmerized me. Then I fell in love with Jimi Hendrix after a friend taped every song he ever made and gave it to me for my birthday. I was convinced that if only I had been alive and an adult when he was, he would still be here. What a cosmic joke that the man of my dreams died when I was 10 months old. Then I went through a MAJOR Beatles phase, just around the whole 20 anniversary of the Summer of Love stuff. I hippied out and decided that Paul is my favorite, John was a genius in his own right, and George kinda creeped me out, but I grew to dig his vibe. Ringo doesn't make any impression on me. He's like the Shemp of the Beatles.
I also had a great 5th grade teacher named Mr. Kolataze at P.S. 97 in the Bronx. I had moved there in the mid- 4th grade, so I was the New Girl. That year was tough. I had come from a school in Yonkers that was one of those progressive schools with no walls and split grade classes. I could read very well when I went to kindergarten so they had me go to 3rd grade reading classes. I was in a class where it was high functioning 4th graders and mid fuctioning 5th graders. I guess the idea was that somewhere in the middle they could close the gap. Seemed to work, from what I remember. Very different from an old 85 year old school with traditional wooden desks and the big creaky windows that you needed a long stick to open. I went from New Age to Old School, and I stuck out. But I was still bright and got along. In the 5th grade, I had Kolataze and I knew right away it was going to be a cool year. He was tall, lean, good looking and had longish hair and he was a piano player who LOVED Beethoven. Had a bust of him right on the piano in the classroom. He could play his ass off and he would take bee pollen in the middle of class and taught us to play Song of Joy on the recorder and did cool shit like play the soundtrack to The Shining beacause it was all Bela Bartok music. I was 10 and listening to Bartok and sneaking to watch the movie so I could see what I heard. AND we still managed to learn all our other subjects. He was the kind of teacher I liked..they knew when to be serious and when to be really cool and you did well in his class cause you really wanted to. You felt like the cool stuff was the bonus for doing the boring stuff. That was the year Lennon got killed and the guy was destroyed. He just sat at the piano and played slow, sad Beatles stuff and we listened to Sgt Pepper, and I really understood how deep music was. He was so cool that he even dated someone's mom at school. It was the talk of 1980. Mrs. Andrucki. Either widowed or divorced or maybe still married, who knows. One of her daughters was a year ahead of me and one a year behind. The got one look at each other and it was a wrap. The last time I ran into him in the 90's, they were still together.
So, now I sit here and experiment my own. Once I figure out which site I can load it to, you'll hear it. Soon Come..
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